Failure to Communicate

Miscommunication happens; it’s a fact of life. It’s something we should make honest efforts to avoid, but also learn to accept that it happens, fix the problem(s) it caused and move on. Simple enough.

There are two contributors to this aggravation that seems to peak when ages or cultures mix, and for which there is very little excuse. When did we become a nation of mumblers? We have always been prone to not listening – the largest single contributor to the never ending plague of miscommunication – which we are all guilty of at times and need to work on. But not speaking clearly is inexcusable, unless you have some physical impairment.

I remember as a child having my parents tell me to “stop mumbling!” In my world that phrase was doomed to be followed by some sort of punishment. Not because of my failure to speak clearly, but because the only reason I ever mumbled was because I was admitting to doing something wrong. In my little mind I had the mistaken belief that said parent would hear only part of what I muttered and just let things slide. My garbled, but contrite confession would be enough, even if they didn’t know exactly what the infraction was. I can’t imagine where I came up with such a fantasy. To the contrary, the delay in understanding only irked the adult even more.

And today, as an adult, I have come to realize just how irksome it is communicating with someone who does not enunciate or whose voice is muffled, regardless of the reason. Not long ago I encountered this problem so many times in one day that I began to wonder if I might be losing my hearing. My days with rock bands and hours of cranking up bombastic symphonies over earphones certainly upped the odds for nerve damage. I admit that ambient noise is a problem for me at times. Certain machines have pitches that override my ability to hear human speech; just another fact of life for many of my generation. (And probably even more of an issue for generations to come.) It is also common as we age to begin losing the ability to hear higher pitches, such as women’s voices. Of course sometimes we women mistake selective hearing for this sort of hearing loss when it comes to the men in our lives, but that is another issue we may expound upon some other time. Taking all this into account and being one who has always endorsed preventive medicine, I made an appointment to have my hearing tested.

While I waited to have my ears checked I began paying closer attention to what I could or could not hear. I quickly realized the only time I could not hear something clearly, was when someone was speaking. I still listened to the TV at the same volume; even lower at times. When there was not a fan, copier or printer running between me and the rest of the office, I could hear almost everything. I also noticed that the clerks and others I had trouble hearing always spoke with their heads down. Not that I can read lips, but their voices were projecting downward, not toward me. More importantly, I was not the only one struggling to understand what they said. Other people were leaning closer, asking them to repeat, or even nodding and then turning to someone else for information. It was not my hearing, but their speaking that was inadequate.

With the thought of writing this, I asked myself whether I just notice this more because of my age or are people just not learning diction and projection anymore. Generations always criticize the next generation for what they perceive as shortcomings, so my aggravation is likely to have that influence, but I don’t think that invalidates the observation. The younger the person, the more likely they seem to not speak clearly. This is not because of difficulty with the language; their vocabulary and pronunciation is no worse than my generation and in some communities, it’s even better. But with the crunch to get more and more information into students and using writing and graphic illustration more than we used to for getting ideas across, instead of speaking to individuals and groups in person, I wonder if we are overlooking the practice speaking that used to be part and parcel to education at all levels.

When I am faced with someone fresh out of school, be it high school or college, and they do not speak clearly, I can’t help but wonder if I should dust off that certificate that says I can teach Speech (as in public speaking and debate) and see if I can’t make more of a difference in a classroom somewhere. I just wish one semester of Speech was required in order to graduate from high school, like the health and civic classes. One semester would enough to teach teenagers how to speak clearly and convincingly to others, without “gettin in their face”, so they could keep pace, once they are out in this place, called the real world.